Comments on: My “expert” is your girlfriend, or, the wide, wide gap between selling & doing sexpertise http://melissagira.com/sexerati/2008/10/23/my-expert-is-your-girlfriend/ Sex & the internet, by Melissa Gira Grant Sun, 14 Mar 2010 11:20:18 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: Bullet Vibrator - Soft Skins Plus Hopper http://melissagira.com/sexerati/2008/10/23/my-expert-is-your-girlfriend/#comment-990 Bullet Vibrator - Soft Skins Plus Hopper Fri, 07 Nov 2008 15:10:51 +0000 http://melissagira.com/sexerati/?p=391#comment-990 [...] Comment on My “expert” is your girlfriend, or, the wide, wide gap between selling &...(07 November 2008) Good post, Mellissa... [...] [...] Comment on My “expert” is your girlfriend, or, the wide, wide gap between selling &…(07 November 2008) Good post, Mellissa… [...]

]]> By: susan mernit http://melissagira.com/sexerati/2008/10/23/my-expert-is-your-girlfriend/#comment-981 susan mernit Mon, 27 Oct 2008 19:17:46 +0000 http://melissagira.com/sexerati/?p=391#comment-981 Good post, Mellissa Good post, Mellissa

]]> By: Elizabeth http://melissagira.com/sexerati/2008/10/23/my-expert-is-your-girlfriend/#comment-980 Elizabeth Mon, 27 Oct 2008 09:47:54 +0000 http://melissagira.com/sexerati/?p=391#comment-980 Melissa, thank you! I am so glad to see my article resonating like this. I like the way you frame the tension around sexual diversity and the room for that - or lack thereof - within feminist and mainstream communities. I'm also glad to see the way that you pose the c-r ethic of exploration and sharing of knowledge as an alternative to the fame/notoriety motivation for blogging or doing sex-writing. I agree that we need to share our ideas whether or not we get paid for them. Knowledge production/sharing has value and can be done as work (i.e. for pay) or it can be done out of a general commitment to truth or community or self, or because we just can't help ourselves. I love it when people act out of altruism or a simple need to share. Yet I wonder how much that interferes with people's ability to earn a living by doing this very important work. I also wonder if it begins to devalue such work in broader societal terms. Once a kind of activity or work becomes understood as something that should be done "for love" instead of "for money" it seems to lose status. Teaching and sex both come to mind! An aside: you mention the "historic" coup of getting actual sex into the article. I was not sure how much would make it into the article, and to tell the truth it wasn't as much as I'd wanted, though that had only to do with a strict limit on article length, though, and not on any kind of content censorship. There will be more sex in the expanded version. Anyway, thank you again for making me think more about my own words. That kind of cross-pollination the best part of the blogosphere, as far as I'm concerned! Melissa, thank you! I am so glad to see my article resonating like this. I like the way you frame the tension around sexual diversity and the room for that - or lack thereof - within feminist and mainstream communities. I’m also glad to see the way that you pose the c-r ethic of exploration and sharing of knowledge as an alternative to the fame/notoriety motivation for blogging or doing sex-writing. I agree that we need to share our ideas whether or not we get paid for them. Knowledge production/sharing has value and can be done as work (i.e. for pay) or it can be done out of a general commitment to truth or community or self, or because we just can’t help ourselves. I love it when people act out of altruism or a simple need to share. Yet I wonder how much that interferes with people’s ability to earn a living by doing this very important work. I also wonder if it begins to devalue such work in broader societal terms. Once a kind of activity or work becomes understood as something that should be done “for love” instead of “for money” it seems to lose status. Teaching and sex both come to mind!

An aside: you mention the “historic” coup of getting actual sex into the article. I was not sure how much would make it into the article, and to tell the truth it wasn’t as much as I’d wanted, though that had only to do with a strict limit on article length, though, and not on any kind of content censorship. There will be more sex in the expanded version.

Anyway, thank you again for making me think more about my own words. That kind of cross-pollination the best part of the blogosphere, as far as I’m concerned!

]]> By: Being Amber Rhea » Blog Archive » links for 2008-10-24 http://melissagira.com/sexerati/2008/10/23/my-expert-is-your-girlfriend/#comment-977 Being Amber Rhea » Blog Archive » links for 2008-10-24 Fri, 24 Oct 2008 12:31:12 +0000 http://melissagira.com/sexerati/?p=391#comment-977 [...] My “expert” is your girlfriend, or, the wide, wide gap between selling & doing sexpertise (S... "Heaven shame me for suggesting that the oomph and sass of feminist sexuality can’t thrive in a men’s magazine or talk show: in fact, it’s fucking subversive to attempt to hack that shit. But when that’s the only venue available for a big broadcast to-do on What Needs To Be Said About Sex? In a neat way that fits around commercials and publishers’ bigger interests in pushing the hot new thing always? All those mimeographed manifestos on the power of the pussy start to seem awesomely powerful again." (tags: sex writing blogging newmedia sexuality feminism women internet web2.0 socialmedia) [...] [...] My “expert” is your girlfriend, or, the wide, wide gap between selling & doing sexpertise (S… "Heaven shame me for suggesting that the oomph and sass of feminist sexuality can’t thrive in a men’s magazine or talk show: in fact, it’s fucking subversive to attempt to hack that shit. But when that’s the only venue available for a big broadcast to-do on What Needs To Be Said About Sex? In a neat way that fits around commercials and publishers’ bigger interests in pushing the hot new thing always? All those mimeographed manifestos on the power of the pussy start to seem awesomely powerful again." (tags: sex writing blogging newmedia sexuality feminism women internet web2.0 socialmedia) [...]

]]> By: Being Amber Rhea » Blog Archive » Blogging the sex commons http://melissagira.com/sexerati/2008/10/23/my-expert-is-your-girlfriend/#comment-976 Being Amber Rhea » Blog Archive » Blogging the sex commons Thu, 23 Oct 2008 20:39:04 +0000 http://melissagira.com/sexerati/?p=391#comment-976 [...] Sexerati, Melissa has an excellent response piece. Quotage: [I]f the feminist marketplace of ideas cannot [...] [...] Sexerati, Melissa has an excellent response piece. Quotage: [I]f the feminist marketplace of ideas cannot [...]

]]> By: Amber Rhea http://melissagira.com/sexerati/2008/10/23/my-expert-is-your-girlfriend/#comment-975 Amber Rhea Thu, 23 Oct 2008 20:12:21 +0000 http://melissagira.com/sexerati/?p=391#comment-975 I love this post. And I love Elizabeth's article. I agree very strongly that hacking the mainstream is powerful, transgressive, and awesome. It has to be handled carefully though. And in the meantime we should be nurturing the space where our own voices can grow and not be put through a filter. I love this post. And I love Elizabeth’s article.

I agree very strongly that hacking the mainstream is powerful, transgressive, and awesome. It has to be handled carefully though. And in the meantime we should be nurturing the space where our own voices can grow and not be put through a filter.

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